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Laugh a little

We all receive jokes by email, but I've found a very large collection of Jewish jokes at a website called aWordInYourEye.com.  That website's creator, David Minkoff, has given permission for jokes on his website to be reproduced here.

Unless otherwise stated, all content shown here is:
From awordinyoureye.com.  Copyright © 2001-2015 David Minkoff

Airline Announcements

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: -

  • On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want), passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
  • On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
  • On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
  • "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
  • "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
  • As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
  • After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

Read more: Airline Announcements

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