Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?
A: They put them in the car.

Yetta, a friend of mine, confused her Valium pills with her birth control pills. As a result, she had ten children but she doesn't really care.

Q: What does a Jewish husband call a waterbed?
A: The Dead Sea.

It's one of life's mysteries  - how a 2Ib box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lb.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.