It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when Bernie slipped through the door.  He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.

As Bernie unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"

The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels?  Nothing more?"

"That's right," answered Bernie, "One for me and one for Bernice."

"Bernice is your wife?" asked the baker.

"What do you think," snapped Bernie, "my mother would send me out on a night like this?"