Brian applies for membership of his local golf club and is asked to attend an interview with the club's Chairman. But Brian is no meshugganah - he knows that the Chairman doesn't like Jews. So he prepares a suitable response should the Chairman ask him what his religion is.

During his interview, all is going well for Brian. But then comes the question he's been expecting. "So what is your religious persuasion, Mr Roberts?" asks the Chairman.

Brian replies, "I am proud to say that I'm a member of the Catholic Church. My wife Christine is also Catholic. We've been married now for over 20 years and in that time we've raised four lovely children - Shaun is the oldest, then there is Mary, Joan and Peter. All four of them regularly go to church with us - we regard ourselves as active Church members. And even my late father, alav hasholom, was a Catholic."

Brian's membership application was unfortunately turned down.