The following statements about the Bible were written by children. The statements have not been retouched or bad spelling corrected.

•    Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.
•    The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
•    The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
•    The seventh commandment is, "Thou shalt not admit adultery".
•    David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.