Laugh a little
We all receive jokes by email, but I've found a very large collection of Jewish jokes at a website called aWordInYourEye.com. That website's creator, David Minkoff, has given permission for jokes on his website to be reproduced here.
Unless otherwise stated, all content shown here is:
From www.awordinyoureye.com. Copyright © 2001-2017 David Minkoff
Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs
Rachel, a very attractive young lady, is on a flight from London to Tel Aviv. She has been worrying a lot ever since they took off and now decides to speak to the man sitting next to her whom she heard addressed by one of the cabin crew as "Rabbi."
"Excuse me Rabbi," she says to him, "would you mind if I ask you for a very big favour?"
"Of course not," he replies, "but I can't guarantee I'll be able to help. What is this favour?"
"Well rabbi, my mother lives in Tel Aviv and tomorrow is her 60th birthday. I bought her an expensive hair dryer in London before I left. It's in the overhead locker above us and it's unopened. But unfortunately, it's well over the Customs' limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it from me. Is there any way you could carry the hairdryer through customs for me? Maybe you could put it in your hand luggage. With you being a Rabbi, no one in Customs would question you."
"I would love to help you," replies the Rabbi, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"Thank you Rabbi," she says.
When they get to Customs, she lets the Rabbi go first. The official looks at his passport and says to him, "Do you have anything to declare, Rabbi?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I must admit that I have nothing to declare."
This was such a strange answer to receive from a Rabbi that the official has to ask him a further question. "So what, if anything, do you have to declare below your waist, Rabbi?"
"I have a marvelous instrument," replies the Rabbi, "that was designed to be used on a woman, but which is unfortunately unused so far."
"That's very funny Rabbi," says the official laughing out loud, "You may now go through. Next," he calls out.
"Excuse me Rabbi," she says to him, "would you mind if I ask you for a very big favour?"
"Of course not," he replies, "but I can't guarantee I'll be able to help. What is this favour?"
"Well rabbi, my mother lives in Tel Aviv and tomorrow is her 60th birthday. I bought her an expensive hair dryer in London before I left. It's in the overhead locker above us and it's unopened. But unfortunately, it's well over the Customs' limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it from me. Is there any way you could carry the hairdryer through customs for me? Maybe you could put it in your hand luggage. With you being a Rabbi, no one in Customs would question you."
"I would love to help you," replies the Rabbi, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"Thank you Rabbi," she says.
When they get to Customs, she lets the Rabbi go first. The official looks at his passport and says to him, "Do you have anything to declare, Rabbi?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I must admit that I have nothing to declare."
This was such a strange answer to receive from a Rabbi that the official has to ask him a further question. "So what, if anything, do you have to declare below your waist, Rabbi?"
"I have a marvelous instrument," replies the Rabbi, "that was designed to be used on a woman, but which is unfortunately unused so far."
"That's very funny Rabbi," says the official laughing out loud, "You may now go through. Next," he calls out.