Laugh a little
We all receive jokes by email, but I've found a very large collection of Jewish jokes at a website called aWordInYourEye.com. That website's creator, David Minkoff, has given permission for jokes on his website to be reproduced here.
Unless otherwise stated, all content shown here is:
From www.awordinyoureye.com. Copyright © 2001-2017 David Minkoff
The Drunken Hubby
Just before midnight, Manny staggers home after an evening out drinking heavily with his workmates. To avoid waking up his wife Ruth, he takes off his shoes and tiptoes towards the stairs leading up to their bedroom. But he misjudges one of the steps and has to catch himself by grabbing hold of the banister. But his body swings around and he lands heavily and painfully on his toches, breaking both of the whisky bottles in his back pockets. Somehow, Manny manages not to scream out in pain. "Oy Vey!" he says to himself, "what have I done to my toches?"
To answer his question, Manny slowly stands up and limps to the hall mirror. He then pulls down his trousers and then his pants, looks at his toches in the mirror, and is shocked to see that it's badly cut and bleeding in a number of places. So he quietly looks around the house and manages to find a box of first aid plasters. Going back to the hall mirror, Manny begins to put a plaster on each place he sees blood. When he finishes, he hides the now empty elastoplast box and shuffles and stumbles his way to bed.
In the morning, Manny wakes up not only with pains in both his head and toches, but also with Ruth staring at him.
"You were drunk last night weren't you?" she asks.
"Why do you say such a horrible thing?" he replies.
"Well," replies Ruth, "it could be the front door that was left open all night; it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house; it could even be your bloodshot eyes. But mostly, it's all those pieces of elastoplast stuck on our hall mirror."
toches: backside
To answer his question, Manny slowly stands up and limps to the hall mirror. He then pulls down his trousers and then his pants, looks at his toches in the mirror, and is shocked to see that it's badly cut and bleeding in a number of places. So he quietly looks around the house and manages to find a box of first aid plasters. Going back to the hall mirror, Manny begins to put a plaster on each place he sees blood. When he finishes, he hides the now empty elastoplast box and shuffles and stumbles his way to bed.
In the morning, Manny wakes up not only with pains in both his head and toches, but also with Ruth staring at him.
"You were drunk last night weren't you?" she asks.
"Why do you say such a horrible thing?" he replies.
"Well," replies Ruth, "it could be the front door that was left open all night; it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house; it could even be your bloodshot eyes. But mostly, it's all those pieces of elastoplast stuck on our hall mirror."
toches: backside
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